Obama’s N*gga Moment, McCain’s Senior Moment

This presidential race will be exciting—the clash between two seemingly polar opposite candidates; one an old war hero and conservative white man, and the other a young(er), charismatic, liberal African-American man. The exciting part isn’t just the possible regime change and blue shift towards a more liberal society and a potential re-claiming of American global cultural influence, but with two such opposites juxtaposed together for so long in such a gaffe-ridden and media nitpicky election season, there is a potential for a slip of the worst kind—Obama’s “nigga moment,” (as coined by the brilliant Aaron McGruder's Boondocks) and McCain’s senior moment.

Now, n*gga moments tend to be borne of the inner city frustrations and urban hopelessness that infect our African-American population (and it’s unfortunate). Obama doesn’t know much of this lifestyle. Though he had a childhood wrought with tragedy he always managed to get by on his ingenuity and motivation. But, one cannot easily dismiss the fact that, not only spending much of his professional career witnessing the defeated nature of Chicago’s worst neighborhoods, but also making his way in a profession full of wealthy, elitist white men had to have ingrained some sense of black animosity within him. This is merely speculatory, but odds are there is a whole other side of Barack Obama that we have yet to see.

As far as John McCain, he was born and raised in a different era. At 71, he is the oldest person ever to run for the office of President of the United States. Senior moments are exactly as they sound—moments where one’s age takes over the brain and causes that person to say or do something irrational and inexplicable. These moments can range from “oh, where did I put my car keys?” to, “North Korea, no way I’ll negotiate with those gooks!” (hypothetically speaking, of course). John McCain was put through hell in defense of our nation. He was tortured (but not enough to oppose torture), separated from his family and his country for years by people of a different race. Plus, he’s Irish; so he has a temper. And he’s a maverick, which means he has a penchant for calling his soon-to-be-named running mate (Mitt Romney?) "Goose," or always making love with “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin illuminating the conjugal background (with the help of Cialis [sorry, I had to]).

The beauty of this personal and political dichotomy is that there is a potential powder keg ready to burst. Chances are, if it does, McCain will be the instigator. He’s a man of a different era (see last paragraph). He was alive through the civil rights battles of the 50s and 60s, but was in the military, missing most of the activism whilst in the service, but still around during the repressive eras of the 40s and early 50s. Then, there’s the possibility that bitterness has been brewing inside him since the North took away his slaves in 1863 (that was a joke, he isn’t quite 145 yet). He’s also prone to gaffes to begin with. My theory is that, somewhere in this oversaturation of election coverage, McCain will have a senior moment—potentially revolving around the word “colored.” Now, this word isn’t the most offensive (case in point, the NAACP), and I don’t believe he is so far off the planet to utter the N word or something equally as inflammatory, but I think there is a possibility that his age will show itself in a ugly, pseudo-racist manner.

In response to such an archaic nod to racist roots, a spark could be lit, igniting the generally sanguine Obama. His response could range anywhere from, “Muthafucka, whatchu say?!” to a simple “Aw hell no!” to the more absurd act of actually whipping out a Gat. It’s unclear what would be the preferred course of action, but, regardless, white and black America would forgive him (except maybe whipping out the Gat).

I hope you’ll have your eyes glued on the TV screen as I will during this election season, and perhaps we’ll all see our candidates’ true colors.

-E.