Allow myself to introduce myself.

I tried to come up with a clever way for y'all to get to know me, so I decided to use James Lipton's final questions on ITAS.

1. What is your favorite word?
For Scrabble, a tie between "za" and "qi," for normal English, "treat."

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Fashionista"

3. What turns you on?
Tits/Ass

4. What turns you off?
Explaining shit to people

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Utility: "Mother-Fucker" Show-Off: "Jizz-Beret"

6. What sound or noise do you love?
The electric piano sound in "Goodbye Stranger" by Supertramp.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Crying children (unless they're being beaten.)

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Stay-at-home-dad/Amateur Porn Star/Crime Fighter (At the same time)

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Old folks home worker

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
God- You feel that? That's right, you now have a 14-inch penis. Hey Freddie, come and show this guy the ropes.
Me- Oh, hey what's up Freddie Mercury?
FM (Freddie Mercury)- Oh not much, just about to jam out with the band.
Me- Oh, you have a band, here in heaven?
FM- Yeah, it's me, Keith Moon, Dimebag Darrell, and Paul McCartney.
Me- Paul McCartney?
FM- Yeah, Paul McCartney.
Me- I knew it... Yeah, that does sound like a good line-up.
FM- Yeah, it's a trifle rough at the moment, but we're getting there. Oh, I forgot, peak-career Marlyn Monroe was looking for you.
Me- Sweet, is that a cupcake tree?
FM- Absolutely.

I hope that cleared some stuff up for you all.
-E.